I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
