the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
it was like his penis was on wheels.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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