So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
