i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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