i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
