Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
