Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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