dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
