I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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