i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She just used a chaser for red wine.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
