Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize