Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
