How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
