What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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