she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
