have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.