marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks