So how was he last night?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"