He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
