She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
