they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
