I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
is it fun? or sober?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
