Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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