If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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