Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
