This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
