I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Two words: blizzard sex
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
