So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
