i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
