Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
