I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
