i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
