So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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