So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
