Kiss
Puke
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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