People with herpes should wear stickers.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
