OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
