i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i may or may not be watching the land before time
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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