Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
