just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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