hell yes lets make some ravioli
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
