Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
