this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Randomize