once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
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Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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