i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
