So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
