Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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