But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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