she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
