I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
