I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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