we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
