Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
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