Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
