Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
