so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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