and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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