I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
