so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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