East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
