She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
