Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
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new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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