I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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