I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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