Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Also, beer. Big fan.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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