all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
